Sisters?

My apologies for this being a late post, but I was so so so sick yesterday. I even got teased by Princess for being a "potty-head" because I had to run to the bathroom so many times. I know, the insult hurts me down deep in my heart too. I'll get over it. I hope.

Anyway, before I kind of zoned out and simply made sure they weren't just killing each other or themselves, Sass decided to let me in on a little secret.

Sass: "Miss Mica. We're twins."

Me: "Oh. You and Princess?"

Sass: "No. Me and You and Princess."

Me: "Oh. Cool."

I'm sure you can understand my confusion if you read my post from Wednesday. Besides the fact that it's a little ebony/ivory twin-ship going on, there's a slight (21-10-7) age difference going on as well.

Monday is Sass's birthday and I'm making both the girls tutus. Expect pictures on the next post.

Throwback

Well. This conversation is a throwback to one that Sass and I had a million and one times last year and didn't have this year...until today.

She's really interested in my family because she's never met them. She asks me a ton of questions about my mom and dad, but she's really intrigued that I have a big brother because she only has a little brother.

Sass: "Miss Mica. What color are your brother's eyes?"

Me: "They're brown, but a little bit lighter brown than yours."

Sass: "What color is his hair?"

Me: "It's brown, but a little bit lighter than yours."

I should probably go ahead and mention that she and Princess are both African-American, therefore much darker than my "peaches and creme" (ahem, ghostly white) complexion.

Sass: Holding her arm up to mine. "What color is his skin?"

Me: "Well, he's tanner than me, but still close to my color."

Sass: "If he's tanner than you, is he my color?"

Me: "Well, no. He's still white, but he's darker than me."

Sass: "No. If his skin is my color and his eyes are my color, he looks like me."

While this is superior reasoning, we still have to have conversations about my brother looking like me, but just a little bit darker.

Things in the conversation got a lot dicier when I tried to explain that I have foreign-exchange sister.

Sass: "But Miss Mica, you don't have a sister."

Me: "Well, not technically, but I love her like my sister. And she lived with my family."

Sass: "But I love Princess, and she's not my sister."

Me: "I know, but my family kind of adopted her."

Sass: "How old is she?"

Me: "Well. Too old to be adopted, but my family loves her."

Sass: "That doesn't make her your sister."

Again, touche on the reasoning skills, but still.

All in all, it was a really great day and the girls were a lot of fun today.

Teasing

Here's the honest truth: because Thursday was a worse repeat of Tuesday, I didn't post about it. I didn't have the heart or energy to.

Today I got an apology (unprompted!) from Sass. It was so sweet.

Sass: "Miss Mica. When I used stupid words last week, that was mean."

Me: "Yes it was."

Sass: "But now we're going to use nice words. I'm going to use nice words."

Me: "Well thank you, Sass. I really like your attitude and that's good to hear."

Sass: "You're welcome."

Apparently, Sass's mom decided to combat our little situation by only allowing teasing to happen if you use fruits or animals. I know it sounds silly, but it makes the girls think in order to tease someone.

So Sass, Princess, and I were playing babies in the hallway when my baby started crying (don't blame me, they gave me the electronic baby). Sass didn't really like that and told me to "make that baby be quiet."

Me: "Sass, I'm trying. I don't know how to turn it off!"

Princess: "Well try harder! It's so loud."

Sass: "Miss Mica, you need to turn that off."

Me: "Still trying."

Sass: "Miss Mica, if you can't turn it off, you're a strawberry."

Princess: "You're a strawberry." (In that sing-song teasing voice. You know the one.)

Me: "Okay. Now think of an animal."

Princess: "Umm. You're a...cotton?"

Me: "Princess, cotton is not an animal."

Sass: "You're a duck."

This went on for quite a while until the baby stopped crying. Finally. So as I was walking out the door today, Sass yells out: "SEE YOU LATER MISS STRAWBERRY DUCK!"

Love you too Sass, love you too.

It's all about the learning

Yesterday was a horrible day of epic proportions, but today was infinitely better!

Sass went back to her perfect self and Princess kept talking my ears off, so all was well.

I did, however, learn that the girls actually listen to what to I say, as per this conversation at lunch time:

Princess: "Miss Mica, remember that time you told Sass to choose nice words?"

Me: "You mean yesterday? Yeah, I remember."

Princess: "Oh. That's good that you told her that because she's choosing good words now."

Sass: "But why do we do that?"

Me: "Because we want people to know we're nice, and we want them to feel loved."

Sass: "But what if I don't want them to feel loved?"

Me: "Then it's better not to say a word. That way, we don't hurt anyone's feelings."

Sass: "Oh."

The conversation changed topics for about ten more minutes, and then this happened:

Me: "Sass, you want to play with me and Princess since you're done eating?"

Sass: "Yeah. I want to play with Princess."

Me: "But not me?"

Sass: "I'm not saying anything. That's nicer."

Oh good, thanks for that.

Choosing Nice Words

I'm officially a slacker. I haven't updated in two weeks and I told you guys it would only be one. My bad. But in my defense, we really didn't have any stellar conversations last week. We talked a lot about camp and school, so yeah.

I don't know what's going on with Sass, but I think maybe school made her angry this morning. First of all, did everyone know that Tuesdays are Meatball sub day at Subway? No, I do not eat the meatball sub every Tuesday, but Sass does. And today she scarfed that sucker down. So. Fast. Usually it's like pulling teeth to get her to eat in a timely fashion. After she finished lunch, Princess showed up.

All Hades broke loose after that. I wish I were kidding. Both the girls were screaming, throwing fits, Sass wouldn't keep her clothes on. It was a madhouse. Have I mentioned that both their moms work from home? Yeah, I went out in the main end of the house to check on how loud we were and both moms had headphones on...Oops?

Regardless, gum usually works to calm Sass down, so I gave her some Orbit Sweet Mint (because that's what was in my purse). Did not work. At all.

So this delightful conversation ensued:

Princess was incessantly laughing the whole time, which really worked against what I was saying.

Sass: "I hate you."

Me: "Let's choose nice words."

Sass: "I'm going to kick your @$$."

(All I could think of was this YouTube video...)

Me: "We do not say things like that. Jesus would not be proud of what you're saying."

Sass: "Fine. I'm gonna kick your face."

Me: "Sass, no one will play with you if you choose bad words like that."

Sass: "Yes they will. You better shut your crack mouth."

This went on for a good thirty minutes during which I attempted to put her in time out, but really how well can you punish an eleven year old Autistic child? Not well.

Me: "Sass, you're hurting my feelings and I will not play with you until you're nice again."

Sass: "Okay Miss Mica. I'm sorry. I won't hurt your feelings anymore. I will choose nice words and keep my clothes on."

This concession happened three minutes before I had to leave. Naturally.

I would also like to throw in that I don't know where she heard that said. Especially the part about the "crack mouth." I'm still not sure if she meant crack like the drug or crack like my mouth was cracked. Either way, it was hard not to laugh.

On days like these, I remember why they're called "special needs" kids.

Future Kids...Now?

Well. This conversation threw me for a loop. A big, big loop. I was utterly confused, but really, what else in my life with these precious girls doesn't confuse me?

So Princess, Sass, and I were playing when (surprise, surprise!) I did something that neither Sass nor Princess liked. I put Elmo in time-out. I know. I'm that mean babysitter that does mean things like put Elmo in time-out. Let me tell you, this life-size Elmo doll was being tugged in two directions. Sass wanted Elmo in her room, Princess wanted Elmo in the 'puter room. As the shouts of indecision grew louder, I stepped in.

Me: "Okay. That's it. Elmo is going in time-out until you two can decide to share him."

Princes: "But Miss Mica, Elmo didn't do anything."

Sass: "Yeah Mica. Elmo was good."

Me: "However, you two can't decide where to put him, so he had to be put away. Or do you two want to go to time-out instead?"

Sass: "No. Elmo can stay in time-out."

Princess: "You know what Miss Mica? You're mean. Elmo doesn't like you. You're not a good mommy, and your son doesn't like you either."

Hm. There were several things wrong with that last statement, but I decided to control the anger issue instead of correcting her.

Me: "Princess, you need to calm down and understand I'm not punishing Elmo. I'm giving him a break to let you and Sass be able to get along. Get it?"

Princess: "Yes. But your son still doesn't like you."

At this point, I decided to let her know in what way she was wrong.

Me: "Princess, I don't have a son. And if I did, and he was fighting with his best friend over Elmo, I'd put Elmo in time-out for them too."

After she thought for a second, and this is what came out of her mouth...

Princess: "Miss Mica. Your son still doesn't like you."

Ah. So that's the future I have to hope for with my children. Good to know.

P.S. Now I know Bailey reads my blog. This is a shout-out to her. You should read her blog or her other blog. You know, all 2 of you that aren't Bailey and read this...

P.P.S. I'm going to camp with our youth group next week (as a counselor, but let's be real. I'll be the biggest kid there.), so I won't have any new conversations to share. I know. You're all upset.

Why can't I hit?

Well. Today was intriguing. It was just Sass and me since Princess had some things to do. When Sass is one-on-one, she often has the strangest conversations. Today is a beautiful example of that.

Sass: "Miss Mica. Where is Jesus?"

I have to admit, the first time she asked me this last summer I had no idea what she meant or wanted me to say, since when I said 'He's everywhere' she got mad. I had to ask her mom.

Me: "He's in your heart."

Sass: "What's He doing in there?"

Me: "Well. He helps you make good choices and makes sure you know He loves you."

Sass: "Okay."

A few minutes pass while we talk about her babies and then some puzzles. Then she says...

Sass: "Miss Mica. Why can't I hit Him?"

Me: "Hit who, sweetie?"

Sass: "Jesus. Why can't I hit Him?"

Me: "Um. Well. Why would you want to?"

Sass: "Because."

Me: "Well. You can't hit Him because He's inside your heart. So that would hurt."

It was the only thing that came to my mind. Don't judge me.

Sass: "Okay."

End of conversation. I was dumbfounded and trying not to laugh all at the same time. Turns out, she got in trouble for hitting her little brother last night, so maybe that's where it came from. I have no idea.